Burnt Toast.

Let me tell you a story I stumbled upon,

One evening, my mother made dinner after a hard day's work.

She placed the jam and a plate with completely burnt toast in front of my father. I noticed the black toast immediately, but I was waiting to see if my father would notice it too.

My father however started to eat the toast and asked me about my day. 

I don't remember anymore what I answered, but shortly thereafter, my other apologised about the burnt toast.

I will never forget what my father said, "Darling, I love burnt toast!"

When I went to bed later, I asked him if he really likes burnt toast.

He hugged me and whispered, your mother had a very demanding day today, she is tired.

Burnt toast won't hurt anybody, but words can be very painful.

Life is full of perfect things and faulty people.

To accept these mistakes and appreciate the differences; this is the key to a healthy and long-lasting relationship.

Being separated by millions of miles, you tend to learn how to be appreciative of the smallest things, no matter how insignificant it may seem to be, and even more if you know that someone went an extra mile, just to make you smile. I'm not even specifically referring to a relationship, for it applies to all other relationships, with your friends, and family. When you're so far away you start to lose contact with people, threads cut, bridges burned, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. It can no longer be an expectation for your friends to want to meet/ skype you every so often, because drifting apart is inevitable. It just happens. People give up when either side stops putting in the effort. And that is how things start to fall apart. So you start to appreciate the littlest effort people put in to catch up with you and what not; You yourself have to take the first step sometimes. Taking things for granted is when one slips up. 

Ever seen what it's like to give a child a candy? Or what it's like to ask a child how was school, and they would just ramble on? I'm not comparing someone to the immaturity of a child, but to the innocence and true heart of one, back to a simpler time, where there was nothing to hide, no hidden agenda, no ulterior motive. To see someone speak with such passion and innocence, where their eyes light up in excitement, and in that moment, you can't help, but to be touched by the rare sight before you.



FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
I can't deal. This semester i've made certain resolutions, which I have a feeling will go down the drain as soon as i post this. But, can't say i don't wish to try.

For one, I definitely want to become a better person. To focus on myself, and stop caring about the drama and gossip around. If i lose friends or lose whatever social status i had, so be it, cos making fake friends to climb some over-rated social ladder is not the way to go. Whenever I see spiteful people who go to weird extremes just to get their way, sometimes cutting people off at their knees, or using you until you're wrung dry and just tossing you away like used kleenex, I put myself in their shoes and question, "How can you live with yourself?". I view things and do things and make decisions on how I want to look back upon myself, whether I have lived a life I will be proud of in 10 or even a 100 years.

That's how I wish to live, and hopefully not be swayed by temptation or greed down the road.
Sometimes you got to give up on people. Not because you stopped caring, but because they do. 

Also, HAPPY LEAP DAY EVERY BUDDY :D

anyeong (:
missing you, forever and always.

The Butterfly Effect.

No I'm not okay.

When a girl says it's fine, is she really? When she says she's okay, is she? When she says to go, don't go.
Is it not right to appear this vulnerable? Is that why we always say the opposite of what we really feel?

It's like we're leading separate lives, but i'm put in a position such that I can't demand anything else more. The particular circumstances placed upon us is just our luck. I've asked myself a million what ifs. What if we weren't separated by a million miles, a thousand cities, a hundred seas. Would everything be for the best or the worst?

To see his smile, his face light up, but all not for the right reasons. The fact that I can't be the reason of such joy, such relief, makes me doubt myself a thousand times. I can't help it, to feel that I don't bring such emotions, breaks me. Maybe I'm just thinking too much, but I can't help it.



"And little by little, I understood that there were many types of love. We do not choose the one we fall in love with, and our perception of happiness is our own and is determined by what we experience.."

Maybe it is because it is the loneliest day of the year tomorrow, and although I'm not alone, I still will technically be spending it alone. Oh but random thought, this is the fun thing about Valentine's day, you can celebrate it for your mum, or your foreveralone friends. You won't ever be alone. Whereas compared to Christmas, when everyone has family to spend it with, cos' once you're alone, you truly are.

I just hate having such thoughts, having to doubt myself, having to doubt him. I shouldn't be, and I needn't be. But I am.

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

Close your eyes and think about that boy. Tell me how he makes you feel. Let your mind tract over his tired shoulders. Allow your thoughts to linger on that beautiful smile. Take a deep breath and try to put those dark thoughts aside. For once, let go of the reins you've wrapped so tightly around your heart. I know you are scared. Who could blame you? Love is a hurricane wrapped inside a chrysalis. And you are a girl walking into the storm.

- Lang Leav

anyeong!

Or maybe it's just because, I miss you. So much that it hurts. I can't help it. 

Why Not?

For once, I actually missed my monthly post. Kinda itching me that I did, but its done anyway, but I had a pretty good reason for it. If anything, January was the very definition to starting the year off with a bang. The things that I have seen, experienced in a year, all squished into a month. It was one heck of a ride, and although it was great fun, its time to settle down. I've about another 3 weeks or so to get my mindset settled and put into the school mode. Seriously cannot see myself getting out of this vacation mood. Simply too relaxed, and even just the idea of going back to school haunts me.

January was crazy. Why you say? I did my first solo trip to UK! Well not exactly fully solo, because i had lovely people from the very start, and when i mean very start, I mean from the moment I stepped onto English grounds at Heathrow Airport, to the city and all for a good 5 days. My journey to Nottingham was alone, but I couldn't depend on people through the whole way could I? Had to grow some independence ;) It was chilly, but the cold didn't matter when you had people around you who cared to warm your heart. A special shout out to Kitty Kat for taking care of me the last 7 days around UK, from booking our accommodation, to train tickets, and to even food reservation and of course for putting up with my constant whining. Without her, I definitely would not have survived.

There are many things in life that I do in fact regret, and some things I know I ought to have some sort of regret. But this time, what I should be regretting, shan't be. And what I thought could have been done, won't be done. For I know, whatever happened, is only what can be called a lesson learnt. In fact, I can confidently say, no ragrats.

Sometimes you question yourself, "Why?", when really the true question is "Why not?".

There will be countless things that happen in life that did not go according to plan, and sometimes for the worst or for the best. But for most times, we will only focus on the bad, and remember the failures. It could be human nature to focus on the bad or whatever it is that did not go according to plan or our expectation, hence we frown upon it. But since when did we have to frown upon something just because we did not expect it or it is not "the norm"?

I'm not saying to go about everything with a YOLO attitude or something, but you can't cry over spilt milk, it is the past. The past is history, the future is mystery. If you ask yourself the question "Why not?", it switches your whole perspective on appreciation and opens your mind to be more accepting of those who do things out of the norm. So be afraid. But be afraid, and then do it anyway.
Just like those people who choose to see whether a glass of water is half empty or half filled.

Life is too short not to take chances.



Just like taking on the SSA Boomerang Camp 2016, the morning after we arrived from UK, people may think I was crazy, but really, it was the exposure, the experience and the memories makes the craziness within seem all worth it. I was of course the youngest of the lot, and my OGlings all call me a kid when in fact they are my kids, but really games and all covered despite the tiredness, it was great fun. It is different when you are a third person overseeing the camp rather than being involved. You are able to differentiate a leader from a follower, passion from compassion. And through it all, you learn more about yourself, and from those around you as well.

Sometimes the consequences or the cost it will take when you make a particular decision scare the shit out of me, but at the end of the day, you look back, and think what you have gained, not the losses. Even so, if the gains outweighs the loss, then, why not? Obviously this does not include jumping off the Harbour Bridge or something that extreme, but its the sort of risk that is still reasonable and within the "humane spectrum" of things yknow?

Do it to do it, not to have done it. 

Anyeong! (: