Blank Space.

GUESS WHO IS FREE LIKE A BIRD...

Finally exams are over!!! Do you know how awesome it feels to wake up to a day filled with no plans, no  stress, no nothing? I can sleep till 12 and not feel guilty about it.
Ending our papers at 8pm haven't exactly been the most exciting thing over the past week, but hey if its over, i don't really care..All of the papers were good except econs so..crossing fingers!

CHOOSING YOUR NEXT STEP.
holy shit. I never knew choosing a university would be this stressful. Usyd Vs UNSW
I've spent nearly an hour reading forums and feedback pages on which is better but I don't exactly know what "theory based" etc means and all seem biased :/ ITS STRESSFUL I TELL YOU.

But yep, just a little over a week till i'm home sweet home (: CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MY FLUFFY!

Over this year as much as I hate the money sucking foundation and unilodge, i'm very thankful for the wonderful people i've met, the lovely memories shared, and the experiences i've gained. Nothing can ever replace this. You see the tops at their worst, the bottoms at their best. After coming here i've judged a whole lot more, but it opens my eyes to those who i thought they were but turned out to be someone different.

Never underestimate the power of innocence.




Anyeong!

No one can but you.

Rise & Fall

ITS NOVEMEBER BABY.
NO TO ALL THE SHITS I'VE BEEN THROUGH,
NO TO ALL THE EXCUSES AND CRAPS I'VE PUT UP WITH
NO TO GIVING UP.




So in approximately 4 hours i will be sitting for my Math paper..so i'm really not sure why i'm blogging today.. BUT SINCE I'M PROCRASTINATING, HERE I AM.
Shout out to Nik who drops by and leaves a message by the side from time to time. HAI NIK I MISS YOU. PS. our skype date has failed once again. HAHA after my exams ya?

so literally for the past 3 weeks I have been stressing my ass off about this whole immigration shit, but ITS SETTLED FINALLY, AND I'M NOT MISSING CNY YAAAAYYY (ok so again blogspot can't insert a less than three and when I did it messed up the whole formatting resulting me in retyping half of this..asdlkfjhsf) BUT YES CONTINUING...
Thank the heavens for giving me the strength and patience for putting up with certain people and their stubborn-ness and shits. Especially my mum for supporting me all the way, trying to satisfy both parties, but always keeping an open mind.
SO NOW PUTTING THIS BEHIND ME I SHALL BREATHE AND FINALLY FOCUS ON MY EXAMS.
Speaking of exams, do you know how sian it is to continuously study for hours straight? Half way through you're not even sure if anything is going through.

Haha just the other day I was talking to my sis of how i'm afraid of commitment. There I said it. You have to be real special to get me to move my ass off my bed for you man. LOL.

ANYWAY JUST A WEEK AND A DAY LEFT TO FREEDOM. I SHALL CONQUER THIS, OR SCREW IT, BUT EITHER WAY I WILL GET IT DONE.

anyeong!
I feel the beat rise and fall~

No Good in Goodbye.

People fall in love in mysterious ways.

Don't you think Ed Sheeran looks like Rupert Grint?
BUT ANYWAY I've finally finished watching the whole series of Harry Potter IN ORDER.
And can I say, It was AMAZING. 2001-2011.
There are very few things that I have great feels for when I've finished watching.
First of all time was FRIENDS. Now HP is on the list too.
I realised maybe its because I've watched both series season/movie in order and consecutively, so the relationships formed between the characters make me feel so much for all of them.

ITS OCTOBER OMGAH.
how time flies.

Here I am typing this when I'm supposed to be doing work..yes exams are in 1.5 weeks ):
Have I memorized anything? Nope.
Am I prepared? Obviously nope.
Will I cry in the exam room? Probably.

HAHA.
But no really, how time flies.
It was as if just yesterday was the first day of school.
Somehow, this year passed by like the speed of lightning.
They may say time passes when you're having fun. This ain't the case though..
I can honestly tell you i'm not having as much as my fellow friends back in SG.
I see pictures, I envy them.
I see celebrations that I miss, I envy them.
I see connections, I envy them.
I see memories made, I envy them.

I can't particularly say I hate it here...
My roomie Priya is awesome, and when I mean awesome, its like no other words. I wouldn't think I'll survive in this room without her.
What I've learnt about the Chinese? Like the chinese-chinese?
You can't know when they're genuine. Only the rare few, those shy and those who shun away. Those who wear ordinary clothes that try to hide them instead of make them stand out. When you eventually make an effort to get to know them, they're not really trying to hide, they're just the ones who bother more about their work than attention.

Lovely weather, lovely festivals, but when? with who? The friends you can't tell who are genuine or not?
I can't remember the last time I've laughed like I mean it when I'm out. I miss it. I miss the times when I was genuinely happy everyday and actually looking forward to class because of the people in it (not really the lessons haha).
Now, its like I go to class because I have to, not because I want to. Because I want to achieve that perfect 100% attendance at the end of the year on my cert. Because I can't find any motivation.

Do you know what's it like to lose motivation?
Its one thing when you have friends around you. Its another when you're alone.
And its not as if you can share this feeling.
Those who will mock you for studying too much and tell you to stop talking. Obviously not them.
Those who can't even bother about their studies. Don't even think bout' it.
Those who count on you to perform well. Not the same old stories thanks but no thanks.
Those who takes everything for granted just because they're rich. Nope not you either.
Those who claims everything is easy for me because I'm supposedly smart. I'm not, have you seen the rest back home?
Those who says Australia's stuff is shit easy. Screw you I don't know why I'm friends with you.

I love my friends back home. But i just don't have the energy sometimes. I love their support, but they can't be there always. They've already surpassed their obligation just to talk to me and get to see whatsup with my life here (given that i'm so far plus the time difference- special shout out to Hills who ALWAYS no matter what shits, she always still keeps in contact with me). And i'm thankful for that. I can't ask for more.

In about 3.5 weeks, all of this will be over and I will try to appreciate life abit more.
You have no idea how excited I am to get home (:



Where's the soul in soldier on?

anyeong!

Find Me in this Concrete Jungle.

NINE ELEVEN:
13 years ago, the world fell to pieces. I was too young to even remember, too young to understand, but I was still human, i am alive and i survived.
If someone were to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, you would be gone in just that instance. That's why i believe in fate, in destiny. Just that millisecond could determine your future.

How fast time passes. Tomorrow is Kitty Kat's bdae!! (: First time in a long time celebrating with her and AS A FAMILY!! Pretty excited (:
There are ups and downs in every relationship, but she's still my sister and without her i really would not have survived my time here..

Am i a typical singaporean? To be told that is really not a compliment. I try to view life such that i don't waste my time or anything. But people call that too practical.
Am i not living life to the fullest?
Am i being too practical and logical thinking?
Am i choosing my degree for the sole reason of practicality or for passion?
Am i conforming to what society deems "successful"?
Am i taking life too seriously?
Am i enjoying my life?
Am i happy with what i have become today?
Am i living for myself or my parents?
Am i too boring?
Am i being a fake?

Who am i and what am i doing with my life?


It has come to a point that i realised i am pretty much an introvert. Or rather an "ambivert", which basically comprises of both intro and extrovert.
Trust me i am not at all shy, or quiet, but i recharge by being alone, just relaxing and enjoying that peace and quiet. But do i want that?
I have seen a living example of myself and dayum am i boring. The combination of introvert and overseas foreign student does not add up well, and although i'm not categorized under "weird" or "annoying", and i have a certain level of popularity, i simply do not bother myself with hanging out late nights and going to the city etc.
Do i love adventure? Sure.
Do i want to move my lazy ass? No.
But unless it is the first day of school, i would not bother to make the first move.
I am absolutely fine with this routine, but that is not how the world is structured. Those who go out and party are relatively the more "liked" ones while those who stay in are the "boring" ones.
I have seen the living example of myself, and I know i do not want that to be me in a few years. But what can  I do? What should I do?

Sometimes I think if i remained in SG, things would have turned out more differently.
I definitely would not have time to think about these stuff, i definitely would go to the city more often (cos cmon, SG is that small and its MUCH easier to move around, and cheaper too) and i definitely would hang out more often, and i wouldn't realise i was this "boring person" deep down under this exterior. Maybe the main reason i don't like going out is because money is precious here, everything else is so expensive. But i ask myself, I could go and not spend..but wouldn't that be wasting time? Back to square one with the moral of "practicality". I just don't know how to kick this mentality of mine. I generally hate the idea of wasting time, wasting anything. But back home, this would be easily masked in the fast-paced society of SG.
Then again, sooner or later i would find out.
Just like a volcano, the magma deep inside the cone would eventually rise up onto the surface of the earth.

Anyeong

In a world where no one, no one understands, it's good to finally find someone, someone who can.

Superheroes learn to fly.

GUESS WHO HAS A NEW ROOMMATE!!
AND SHE IS SINGAPOREAN!! YAAAAY!! (: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I AM. Like i was so worried she'll be one of those hk or cheenarians spoilt brats but OMGAH SHE IS AWESOME. She's indian and a vegetarian so it kinda exposes me to more curries and spices which is super interesting!
Super sweet but haha sometimes i may be a nuisance to her cos i talk too much..right? :p
AND AND NOW THAT PRIYA IS HERE (that's her name btw), AHEM AHEM HAS SHUDDUP LIKE FINALLY. well, at least quiet enough not to annoy me (: hehe okay okay i am mean and i should calm the freak down but yknow, i was just having one of those days.




There is a superhero in every one of us.
Superheroes learn to fly.
Every day every hour, turn the pain into power.

I was just thinking the other day, how it's so hard to let it go.
Now, the question is why?
It was never this hard, and it was really nothing, maybe even non-existent if you will call it.
But somehow, the small things that are around me can always trigger a reaction.
Be it words, quotes, food, habits..
But it was really nothing, just like air, you feel nothing, you see nothing, but you know it's just there to keep you alive.

Just like air.

When will it ever be easy. When will i be confident to surpress this, to look past all this. When will I not look back and think about this. When will i grow up.
Tell me why? Ain't nothing like a heartache, ain't nothing but a mistake.

anyeong~

Shake it off.

I'm at this point of the year where i don't know what to feel. Like seriously its neither happy nor sad and slightly bothering. And the late nights aren't helpful at all either.
I lay there unable to sleep, tired, but wide awake.



I pick out the small things, some of which brings joy, while other irritation.

The unexpected is just round the corner.
Sometimes you fear things, but taking a leap of faith, a step out of your comfort zone..

This coming month, i pray for patience, for understanding, for peace of mind.

anyeong!

Your Existence.

I literally spent the last 3 days walking around like dora the explorer. My legs, at this current moment, feel like they're gonna fall off.
But, i've never been so YOLO. So on Saturday we met up with Nat (super cool pilot, yes at age 20 and she's a pilot..and what have i achieved..more fats) and went round city with her friend.
We went to Eveleigh Market, WHERE I SAW KYLIE KWONG- MASTERCHEF. i swear i wanted to take a pic with her but A. she was busy and B. she did not look happy.
Nat headed off for Melbourne that night, leaving us with her MyMulti Bus3 ticket aka FREE RIDE TO NEARLY EVERYWHERE AND ANYWHERE IN SYDNEY.

HENCE, OUR ADVENTURE BEGINS.
we went on ferry after ferry, under the bridge, through the bridge, tram ride, bus ride, train ride..you name em', we got on them to fully maximize all in one week!
Although it has been about 9h since i got aboard the ferry, i still feel like i'm on it. Rocking forward, backward, forward, backward.
Next week, we're off again for some tour group adventure..EGGCITED..
yeah, i may not have gone back to SG, but hey i wouldn't have gone to these fun places.
Everything happen's for a reason...and there's always two sides to a coin.

MUMMY IS COMING YAAAAYYY..AND OUR FAMILY WILL BE REUNITED AGAIN (:
i really like it when the whole family is together.. yeah, shouting and nagging may start..but that's what happens in families; it is bound to happen. It is only when the noise stops, then you start to worry.

anyeong!

 

i forget you, then you just reappear, and my walls built all come crashing down; every single damn time. who are you, and what are you doing with my head.