NINE ELEVEN:
13 years ago, the world fell to pieces. I was too young to even remember, too young to understand, but I was still human, i am alive and i survived.
If someone were to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, you would be gone in just that instance. That's why i believe in fate, in destiny. Just that millisecond could determine your future.
How fast time passes. Tomorrow is Kitty Kat's bdae!! (: First time in a long time celebrating with her and AS A FAMILY!! Pretty excited (:
There are ups and downs in every relationship, but she's still my sister and without her i really would not have survived my time here..
Am i a typical singaporean? To be told that is really not a compliment. I try to view life such that i don't waste my time or anything. But people call that too practical.
Am i not living life to the fullest?
Am i being too practical and logical thinking?
Am i choosing my degree for the sole reason of practicality or for passion?
Am i conforming to what society deems "successful"?
Am i taking life too seriously?
Am i enjoying my life?
Am i happy with what i have become today?
Am i living for myself or my parents?
Am i too boring?
Am i being a fake?
Who am i and what am i doing with my life?
It has come to a point that i realised i am pretty much an introvert. Or rather an "ambivert", which basically comprises of both intro and extrovert.
Trust me i am not at all shy, or quiet, but i recharge by being alone, just relaxing and enjoying that peace and quiet. But do i want that?
I have seen a living example of myself and dayum am i boring. The combination of introvert and overseas foreign student does not add up well, and although i'm not categorized under "weird" or "annoying", and i have a certain level of popularity, i simply do not bother myself with hanging out late nights and going to the city etc.
Do i love adventure? Sure.
Do i want to move my lazy ass? No.
But unless it is the first day of school, i would not bother to make the first move.
I am absolutely fine with this routine, but that is not how the world is structured. Those who go out and party are relatively the more "liked" ones while those who stay in are the "boring" ones.
I have seen the living example of myself, and I know i do not want that to be me in a few years. But what can I do? What should I do?
Sometimes I think if i remained in SG, things would have turned out more differently.
I definitely would not have time to think about these stuff, i definitely would go to the city more often (cos cmon, SG is that small and its MUCH easier to move around, and cheaper too) and i definitely would hang out more often, and i wouldn't realise i was this "boring person" deep down under this exterior. Maybe the main reason i don't like going out is because money is precious here, everything else is so expensive. But i ask myself, I could go and not spend..but wouldn't that be wasting time? Back to square one with the moral of "practicality". I just don't know how to kick this mentality of mine. I generally hate the idea of wasting time, wasting anything. But back home, this would be easily masked in the fast-paced society of SG.
Then again, sooner or later i would find out.
Just like a volcano, the magma deep inside the cone would eventually rise up onto the surface of the earth.
Anyeong
In a world where no one, no one understands, it's good to finally find someone, someone who can.
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