Head Above Water.

I was never the holy type, but an amazing performance by Katy Perry during the Grammy's raising awareness of domestic violence was good enough to convince me to share this beautiful song.

"I believed he was lashing out because he was in pain, and needed help. I believed my compassion could restore him and our relationship. My empathy was used against me. I was terrified of him and ashamed I was in this position. What bound me to him was my desire to heal him. My compassion was incomplete because it did not include me. When he threatened to kill me, I knew I had to escape. I revealed the truth to my mom and she encouraged me to seek help at a local domestic violence shelter. This conversation saved my life. Authentic love does not devalue another human being. Authentic love does not silence, shame or abuse.

If you're in a relationship with someone who does not honor or respect you, I want you to know you are worthy of love. Please reach out for help. "  -Brooke Axtell

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Do you know how it feels to be knocked down to your feet? That's how it feels when your support, your foundation, crumbles below you. And that's why all dads teach their daughters to be strong independent women. And that is why we can't depend on others. Just when you thought the person you trust most will be there forever and always, he'll eventually turn his back on you. You were my role model, someone I respected, someone I looked up to, someone I envied, someone I confided in, and finally, someone I trusted. I guess I had just put my expectations for you way too high, I guess I just thought of you pretty much as flawless. But there's nothing that disgust me more than arrogance and that condescending attitude of yours. You really can't get the best of both worlds, you just can't. There were small hints along the way, but this time you pushed it too far. Talk to me like nothing happened, but this will be something I will never look past, and I will never forget.

Imagine this: If such a small trivial matter will spark off such a response, what will happen the next time when the real deal comes along? This logic has become the foundation of how I view people nowadays. I try to be impartial about it all, but you've got to protect yourself from harm you can foresee don't you? That's called taking precaution.

THE DIET PLAN.
obviously failed. Its the 10th day of Feb and I have not started exercising at all. Okay, let's make life a tad bit easier for me. Just to sleep early and wake up by 10. I think that won't be too hard. So we can't count today cos duh, its 1.20am heh. I really can't wait for CNY to come (: I love seeing my cousins and family all together as one. And the goodies omg (: eggcited!! Not really anticipating the whole #ootd fiasco (and maybe i'll even be part of it hehe).

DREAMS.
You know how we've always asked ourselves what our dreams mean? Just a few seconds ago, something struck me. I've always loved dreaming because it let me experience things I can't in real life. Some nightmares are dreadful but that's how we experience "fear" once in awhile since reality may not pose the kind that is possible (if you get what I mean). Especially when our dreams defy reality and our expectations, that is when we feel alive. Hence, just moments ago, something clicked. What if our dreams were there to show us a perspective we ourselves were always afraid to open up to but once we "experience" it in our subconscious, we will see how wrong we were, and thus dare to explore that avenue in reality. I mean sure some dreams are way off, unrelated and unrealistic such as raining donuts or flying pigs but if that theory doesn't work for you, I don't know what will. To have come to such realisation, I'm actually pretty impressed with myself haha.

Anyeong!

I picked myself back up. I put one foot in front of the other and I looked in the mirror and decided to stay. Wasn’t gonna let love take me out that way.