Momentary happiness.

-rant post-

And what I meant is, for a night. Right now, the clock reads 12:43. THE EARLIEST TIME I'M DONE WITH WORK. Like legit, finally for once i've finished what I wanted to do, what I planned out. Maybe also due to the fact that I sacrificed my last weekend sleeping at 3 finishing accounting homework- intentionally, to make my wednesday free to focus on my assignments, tests and projects due. I guess this is one example to learn that if you complete your homework early, you'll feel much more free and relaxed. I mean duh common sense, but I never really thought much about it, and left things to the last minute. I have literally not felt this relaxed in forever. (hehe I had a 100% on my 1203 fortnightly quiz (: ...for once. Also much needed to pull up my average mark..) So yes, I'm in this temporary state of happiness, where I don't have to worry. But then, reality kicks in once the sun rises tomorrow...finishing or rather understanding my case for my case note assignment will definitely be a pain.

BURDEN.
The assignments, projects, quizzes, in-class tests and homework just never ends. It piles on top of each other, creating this heavy burden on my mind. Constantly occupying my idle thoughts of the day, stressing me, just simply frustrating me. Super thankful to Calvina tonight for helping with the quiz, or I definitely would NOT have finished the quiz by now, and perhaps even pushing it to tomorrow.. I just hope I have the strength to push on. I mean, sure encouragement will always be there, friends- always trying to encourage you, family- hoping the best, yourself- wanting to survive this torturous routine. Just two more weeks for all the deadlines to be due, for all the in-class tests to be over, and hopefully by then i'll get my footing back, and go full force for the final exam. I'm really determined to do well, I may procrastinate my ass off, but perhaps that's why people say I work best under pressure. Maybe.

I'm just so tired.
of my sleeping cycle, of school.
I can't understand how other people have it better. "It" basically referring to "life". They have brains, looks, character, and here I am just trying to be a potato. Like does this make any sense? Some people try harder than others, but even then, they may not get the same outcome. You say life is fair. I say its not justified.
Lol, I'm just being a spoilt b*tch right now, please excuse me. But I'm legit tired. While others are out there partying their ass off, they somehow by some weirdass miracle, still score a HD. Here I am just barely trying to keep my head above water, how are they able to afford to do shit like that?

I guess, the only thing to lift my mundane routine up is just to be happy with the present. Not look at the future for it WILL be depressing. Not look at the past for there will be memories of what you have done and what you SHOULD HAVE done. Present. Live in the moment.



For now, I will just focus on keeping my head above water, living in the present, appreciate the moment before it passes, and finally, to take on each hurdle one step at a time.


anyeong~