Mended wings.

CHANGES
were necessary. It had been too long sticking to the old. It is the start of something new.
Gone were the the old pillars of strength and the blogskin/layout. Looking back at my old posts back in '09 or anywhere around that period, were legit cringe worthy. Who the heck spells in short forms like "rite" or "haven" or "tgt". oh bless me. Now that this layout even have the blog titles under archives, it is even more cringe worthy :p Please don't judge, I was p5/6 that had apparently no IQ or EQ heh..

BROKEN WINGS
it's been way too long. It has gotten to a point where i've forgotten what it felt like to be to be free. In fact, I thought it would be nearly impossible to feel this again. Like a bird with broken wings, I fell into a hole, where only darkness and loneliness surrounded me. I had no choice but to learn how to embrace them, amongst other things, trying to find the light that would save me. I was blinded by darkness, led to believe that I had no way of escaping, that I was forced to remain pathetic and helpless, forever depending on the fact that one day someone will come and save me. Somehow the idea that I had to depend on that someone to save me to see the light once again, remained in my head for such a long time, that I didn't bother looking for any alternatives. I assumed that one day that person would remember me and come back, so I waited, and waited. I was so foolish and pathetic to wait for someone so long, someone who didn't care if i existed or not, someone who took me for granted, dragged me by the string, through the mud. Only did I realise that he was dragging other strings as well, that I decided to stop this foolish thinking of mine.

In this cruel world, no one will help you only if you help yourself first. People are fighting for survival, and if you don't make an effort to fight, you'll drown sooner or later. I did it for myself, to have no more burdens, and once I realised that, I took the shards out of my broken wings, one by one, and day by day, soon, I was able to spread my wings and reach for the sky, to see the light, and have clarity once again.



WAIT FOR ME?
Some people look for love. Others wait for it. I forget about it altogether, for I believe if the right one comes by, he'll remind you of what love is again, and help you to trust it again.
Everything happens for a reason yes? I believe in fate. If we cross paths, we cross paths. If not, we don't. Sometimes two persons could be so similar but yet their paths travel parallel, never meeting. I was just lucky enough to have my path crossed with him. Just when I let go of that someone, and just when I thought there wasn't anyone else that could make me feel this way again, to make me believe in myself, he came along. I was actually perfectly fine with the whole "I may not have this feeling again for a long long time" part, but somehow fate has funny ways of surprising us right round the corner. I'm not even sure of this feeling yet, perhaps even still on unstable shaky grounds,  but it is the start of something new. But as always, when something goes well, there will forever be some obstruction, as if fate shoving it in our faces, to remind us that happiness don't come easy, we have to work for it. Distance is a funny thing, but worst than that, is time.

DISTANCE AND TIME
To be flown half way around the world, how does one maintain that connection? It is one thing to have determination, but to be exposed to other foreign influences, it will be detrimental, and perhaps even hopeless.

For now, I guess it is only wise to treasure what we have, before the time comes when we have to split ways, even on the basis of just a friendship. Although I know what we have is temporary, it pains me to know what is to come. Occasional holiday breaks will be my only salvation, that is, if this bond is anything, but temporary.

Here's to new friendships that saved me.

anyeong!

big girls cry when their hearts are breaking.