Three goodbyes.

Surprise surprise- guess who finally changed her blogskin after 1001 years. (Hopefully nik finds this more pleasing to the eyes yes?) This change is definitely for the better.



STARTING AFRESH.
Sometimes it's pretty hard to think about what is good for you and what is not. What you have to cut off, and what you should hold unto. Just like when a doctor have to make a decision if a wound can be cured, or if it is beyond all hope and have to be amputated. If not, the infection will spread, and it will harm you in the long run. These are not decisions we like to make, but ones we have to make- for our own good, overall.

Water Under the Bridge?
All my life I've always been on the side that wants to salvage the infection- the situation, always looking for an alternative, the last hope, that could save that last straw. I've never been someone to hate. Sooner or later there will be some "drifting apart", or some to the point of just strangers, but never to the extent of pure shame, disappointment or hatred that I have decided to make this stand. This stand of having enough, putting my foot down and finally making a decision for myself, to cut off the ropes that i've held on for far too long- ropes that were hurting my hands. These bridges that were held on by such frail ropes, it's time to let go. Bridges were built originally to connect two masses. How a bridge is built is from both ends, such that the completion of it would require the coordination and compliance from both sides, not just one. However, the sad part is that the destruction of one could be from either end, and this time it is from my end. I've thought long and hard, and this was not something I managed to decide overnight. It was more of over the years, the threads frailed, and the ropes thinned, allowing the very foundation holding the bridges to waver.

Burning Bridges;
Did I want this to happen? Of course not. Did I foresee this happening? Most definitely not. But I'm already at my last straw, what can I do anymore? Moreover, these are the friendships I used to depend on all the time. I thought they were the strongest, the most sturdiest, the most dependent. I don't know what to do anymore. Now, it would've been so much better if I were to be burning one bridge at a time. And then I would've been able to talk to the other two about it. But nup, somehow fate or some voice in my head just decides to burn all three at one go. Sounds like some 3-in-1 coffee lol. Three- funny how influence comes in threes: Goldilocks and the three bears, Three little pigs, the three sisters, the three musketeers, three blind mice, three billy goats gruff...

I don't even know how I should feel about this. Sad? Relieved? Most definitely unexpected. I'll take this one day at a time. I can't afford to hold onto something that don't even pause to think of what I have to say. Do you expect me to always think of things to suit your needs? I am done pleasing such people, I'm done wasting my time and energy on those who don't give a second thought about me. It is impossible for me to have such energy to sustain such relationships that are toxic to my well-being at the end of the day. I'm done.

Haha, on the side note, some may think I'm being immature and ridiculous, and I speak as if I've already lived a hundred years. But I'm not claiming to have the wisdom of an oak tree to speak of a phrase "all my life", so some may think I'm just speaking nonsense, barely 1/4 of full age and already filled with ignorance, or some insult like that. If you're thinking that, you're most probably one of the bridges I had already decided to burn. People like you, is why people like me get sick of your arrogance and have decided to cut you off. And those who still hold on, are those who pity you, those who still require your service/money, or those who are same like you.

I'm finally able to hold my head up high. I won't be dragged down no more.
It's weird how this burden has finally been laid down (off). This change is definitely for the better.

anyeong (:

Changes, to move forward- building on the new.