Shit Got Real.

You couldn't have told me 3 years earlier could you now? To save me all that time I spent grieving?
No, too soon? No, too fast? Or well, No, it just didn't mean anything to you?
Oh to hell with you and fk you.
I am so done. So done. All those months I thought you maybe had an inkling of remorse turned out to be something you concluded to be "immaturity". Oh hell I guess those 3 plus months I spent trying to forget anything even started was useless too because hmm I don't know, it was nothing because we were "too young" to make proper decisions.

Curry stain my ass. I'll just pour bleach all over it to get you out. Ruin my shirt for all I care, just as long as the bloody stain is out.

My feelings have been on a rollercoaster. Now, the tracks have just ended and the carriage have just been derailed.

Ranting actually helps. Hey guess I already semi got over it because this is just like the other 1001 shits you have done. Damn, actually scratch that. Thank you for making that comment. You've woken me up from the 1 month that I thought I was wavering. Hell no am I ever going back to that hellhole I was in.
I won't be vulnerable no more. I won't be pathetic. I will stand on my own two feet and hold my head high.

Sayonara #2

Yin&Yang

Yin Yang- everything in the universe consists of two forces that is opposing but complementary.Where there is Life there is Death. Where there is Day, there is Night.

Why can't i just be happy for once. Am I not allowed that?

After a terrible and unsatisfying week, Saturday came.

06.12.14
Brunch was always wonderfully fun with the cousins. They'll never fail to amuse me. They're the best. Its like if you're having a bad day, you just have a chat with them and they say the most hilarious things to brighten up your day.
Then dinner came.
It was pleasant. Very unexpected, but yet unbelievably amazing. You know you expect something and you're taken back with something even better? I don't know but something is different this time round. Different good. Different awesome. I like this different. It is like another side that i've not exactly expected. Then when I had a glimpse of that side that night, I want more. So much more.
But some things are not meant to be yknow? Maybe I'm not sure just yet.
On the way home that night, I caught myself smiling, thinking about the events and topics of that night. I was legit happy. I even chose to walk home so that the quiet night could leave me to my own thoughts. They drifted, drifted to the laughter and happy reminiscing.
I don't think there's anything in there, because after those months, I told myself never to go back, never to be vulnerable. However, just for once I didn't care for any feelings. I just cared that at that moment I was happy. Genuinely happy.

I slept well that night. Very, in fact. But little did I know the next night would be an uncomfortable sleep.
Just when things were looking up, everything came crashing down.

07.12.14
Before leaving for dinner, I saw him at the gate being drenched in the slight drizzle of rain. Quickly I told Auntie Verge to wipe him dry. We had to leave for the dinner as we were late. We just rushed off. That was the last time I saw life in those eyes. He looked so sad, but I just thought it was because he was getting wet in the rain. I think he knew. He knew it was coming. Some things just happen so suddenly just as we don't expect it. That's why we have the saying, "live every moment, treasure each and every second." But how were we to know? Whenever my friends pet would go, I only knew how to offer a word of comfort and thats that. I didn't feel too remorseful because well, I just thought it just like any other animal that was growing old- it is expected. But now, i truly understand, that relationship between a dog and an owner, is something you cannot just cut it off simply. All those months that I was away, no one took you out. Maybe ocassionally, but not the number of times you truly deserve. Thank you so much for waiting those 8 months for me to take you on your last walk. Thank you for always being so patient. Thank you for being so playful that it makes me laugh. Everytime the gates open, I would always expect you to wag your tail and slowly walk one side to let the car enter into the porch. I would always expect you to keep wagging that tail. I would always expect to see you the next morning. I expect too much of you boy. I expected too much. and I just took you for granted. I love you so much nicky. I love you so much. I really hope you are in a better place now. You are so strong. So smart. As van says, I hope you're in doggie heaven now with all the bones and balls you can find. You may not have remembered Brandy or Whiskey, but if you see them up there, make friends okay? they're good dogs too. I love you. Please take care of yourself now. I will be thinking of you everyday when I look up. Everyday. I won't know who to take on walks now who knows how to hold their own leash like you do. I will make it a point to take Gin out more times too. I know you would want that, for her to at least do what she can on your behalf.

I've cried enough tears now. Or thats what I thought. Somehow my tears can't dry out for you. I've scrolled through enough pictures to make my heart ache for you. I think it will be much worst the next few days when reality has sunk in when i open the garage door and not seeing you there. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. But I will stay strong. I will for you as you have always done for me. I will push on just like you have always done for me. You were always there. Thank you for being part of my life nicky. Thank you.

Where's the good in goodbye?
There's no fair in farewell.
RIP Tonic 07.12.14

Anyeong.

Blank Space.

GUESS WHO IS FREE LIKE A BIRD...

Finally exams are over!!! Do you know how awesome it feels to wake up to a day filled with no plans, no  stress, no nothing? I can sleep till 12 and not feel guilty about it.
Ending our papers at 8pm haven't exactly been the most exciting thing over the past week, but hey if its over, i don't really care..All of the papers were good except econs so..crossing fingers!

CHOOSING YOUR NEXT STEP.
holy shit. I never knew choosing a university would be this stressful. Usyd Vs UNSW
I've spent nearly an hour reading forums and feedback pages on which is better but I don't exactly know what "theory based" etc means and all seem biased :/ ITS STRESSFUL I TELL YOU.

But yep, just a little over a week till i'm home sweet home (: CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MY FLUFFY!

Over this year as much as I hate the money sucking foundation and unilodge, i'm very thankful for the wonderful people i've met, the lovely memories shared, and the experiences i've gained. Nothing can ever replace this. You see the tops at their worst, the bottoms at their best. After coming here i've judged a whole lot more, but it opens my eyes to those who i thought they were but turned out to be someone different.

Never underestimate the power of innocence.




Anyeong!

No one can but you.

Rise & Fall

ITS NOVEMEBER BABY.
NO TO ALL THE SHITS I'VE BEEN THROUGH,
NO TO ALL THE EXCUSES AND CRAPS I'VE PUT UP WITH
NO TO GIVING UP.




So in approximately 4 hours i will be sitting for my Math paper..so i'm really not sure why i'm blogging today.. BUT SINCE I'M PROCRASTINATING, HERE I AM.
Shout out to Nik who drops by and leaves a message by the side from time to time. HAI NIK I MISS YOU. PS. our skype date has failed once again. HAHA after my exams ya?

so literally for the past 3 weeks I have been stressing my ass off about this whole immigration shit, but ITS SETTLED FINALLY, AND I'M NOT MISSING CNY YAAAAYYY (ok so again blogspot can't insert a less than three and when I did it messed up the whole formatting resulting me in retyping half of this..asdlkfjhsf) BUT YES CONTINUING...
Thank the heavens for giving me the strength and patience for putting up with certain people and their stubborn-ness and shits. Especially my mum for supporting me all the way, trying to satisfy both parties, but always keeping an open mind.
SO NOW PUTTING THIS BEHIND ME I SHALL BREATHE AND FINALLY FOCUS ON MY EXAMS.
Speaking of exams, do you know how sian it is to continuously study for hours straight? Half way through you're not even sure if anything is going through.

Haha just the other day I was talking to my sis of how i'm afraid of commitment. There I said it. You have to be real special to get me to move my ass off my bed for you man. LOL.

ANYWAY JUST A WEEK AND A DAY LEFT TO FREEDOM. I SHALL CONQUER THIS, OR SCREW IT, BUT EITHER WAY I WILL GET IT DONE.

anyeong!
I feel the beat rise and fall~

No Good in Goodbye.

People fall in love in mysterious ways.

Don't you think Ed Sheeran looks like Rupert Grint?
BUT ANYWAY I've finally finished watching the whole series of Harry Potter IN ORDER.
And can I say, It was AMAZING. 2001-2011.
There are very few things that I have great feels for when I've finished watching.
First of all time was FRIENDS. Now HP is on the list too.
I realised maybe its because I've watched both series season/movie in order and consecutively, so the relationships formed between the characters make me feel so much for all of them.

ITS OCTOBER OMGAH.
how time flies.

Here I am typing this when I'm supposed to be doing work..yes exams are in 1.5 weeks ):
Have I memorized anything? Nope.
Am I prepared? Obviously nope.
Will I cry in the exam room? Probably.

HAHA.
But no really, how time flies.
It was as if just yesterday was the first day of school.
Somehow, this year passed by like the speed of lightning.
They may say time passes when you're having fun. This ain't the case though..
I can honestly tell you i'm not having as much as my fellow friends back in SG.
I see pictures, I envy them.
I see celebrations that I miss, I envy them.
I see connections, I envy them.
I see memories made, I envy them.

I can't particularly say I hate it here...
My roomie Priya is awesome, and when I mean awesome, its like no other words. I wouldn't think I'll survive in this room without her.
What I've learnt about the Chinese? Like the chinese-chinese?
You can't know when they're genuine. Only the rare few, those shy and those who shun away. Those who wear ordinary clothes that try to hide them instead of make them stand out. When you eventually make an effort to get to know them, they're not really trying to hide, they're just the ones who bother more about their work than attention.

Lovely weather, lovely festivals, but when? with who? The friends you can't tell who are genuine or not?
I can't remember the last time I've laughed like I mean it when I'm out. I miss it. I miss the times when I was genuinely happy everyday and actually looking forward to class because of the people in it (not really the lessons haha).
Now, its like I go to class because I have to, not because I want to. Because I want to achieve that perfect 100% attendance at the end of the year on my cert. Because I can't find any motivation.

Do you know what's it like to lose motivation?
Its one thing when you have friends around you. Its another when you're alone.
And its not as if you can share this feeling.
Those who will mock you for studying too much and tell you to stop talking. Obviously not them.
Those who can't even bother about their studies. Don't even think bout' it.
Those who count on you to perform well. Not the same old stories thanks but no thanks.
Those who takes everything for granted just because they're rich. Nope not you either.
Those who claims everything is easy for me because I'm supposedly smart. I'm not, have you seen the rest back home?
Those who says Australia's stuff is shit easy. Screw you I don't know why I'm friends with you.

I love my friends back home. But i just don't have the energy sometimes. I love their support, but they can't be there always. They've already surpassed their obligation just to talk to me and get to see whatsup with my life here (given that i'm so far plus the time difference- special shout out to Hills who ALWAYS no matter what shits, she always still keeps in contact with me). And i'm thankful for that. I can't ask for more.

In about 3.5 weeks, all of this will be over and I will try to appreciate life abit more.
You have no idea how excited I am to get home (:



Where's the soul in soldier on?

anyeong!

Find Me in this Concrete Jungle.

NINE ELEVEN:
13 years ago, the world fell to pieces. I was too young to even remember, too young to understand, but I was still human, i am alive and i survived.
If someone were to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, you would be gone in just that instance. That's why i believe in fate, in destiny. Just that millisecond could determine your future.

How fast time passes. Tomorrow is Kitty Kat's bdae!! (: First time in a long time celebrating with her and AS A FAMILY!! Pretty excited (:
There are ups and downs in every relationship, but she's still my sister and without her i really would not have survived my time here..

Am i a typical singaporean? To be told that is really not a compliment. I try to view life such that i don't waste my time or anything. But people call that too practical.
Am i not living life to the fullest?
Am i being too practical and logical thinking?
Am i choosing my degree for the sole reason of practicality or for passion?
Am i conforming to what society deems "successful"?
Am i taking life too seriously?
Am i enjoying my life?
Am i happy with what i have become today?
Am i living for myself or my parents?
Am i too boring?
Am i being a fake?

Who am i and what am i doing with my life?


It has come to a point that i realised i am pretty much an introvert. Or rather an "ambivert", which basically comprises of both intro and extrovert.
Trust me i am not at all shy, or quiet, but i recharge by being alone, just relaxing and enjoying that peace and quiet. But do i want that?
I have seen a living example of myself and dayum am i boring. The combination of introvert and overseas foreign student does not add up well, and although i'm not categorized under "weird" or "annoying", and i have a certain level of popularity, i simply do not bother myself with hanging out late nights and going to the city etc.
Do i love adventure? Sure.
Do i want to move my lazy ass? No.
But unless it is the first day of school, i would not bother to make the first move.
I am absolutely fine with this routine, but that is not how the world is structured. Those who go out and party are relatively the more "liked" ones while those who stay in are the "boring" ones.
I have seen the living example of myself, and I know i do not want that to be me in a few years. But what can  I do? What should I do?

Sometimes I think if i remained in SG, things would have turned out more differently.
I definitely would not have time to think about these stuff, i definitely would go to the city more often (cos cmon, SG is that small and its MUCH easier to move around, and cheaper too) and i definitely would hang out more often, and i wouldn't realise i was this "boring person" deep down under this exterior. Maybe the main reason i don't like going out is because money is precious here, everything else is so expensive. But i ask myself, I could go and not spend..but wouldn't that be wasting time? Back to square one with the moral of "practicality". I just don't know how to kick this mentality of mine. I generally hate the idea of wasting time, wasting anything. But back home, this would be easily masked in the fast-paced society of SG.
Then again, sooner or later i would find out.
Just like a volcano, the magma deep inside the cone would eventually rise up onto the surface of the earth.

Anyeong

In a world where no one, no one understands, it's good to finally find someone, someone who can.

Superheroes learn to fly.

GUESS WHO HAS A NEW ROOMMATE!!
AND SHE IS SINGAPOREAN!! YAAAAY!! (: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I AM. Like i was so worried she'll be one of those hk or cheenarians spoilt brats but OMGAH SHE IS AWESOME. She's indian and a vegetarian so it kinda exposes me to more curries and spices which is super interesting!
Super sweet but haha sometimes i may be a nuisance to her cos i talk too much..right? :p
AND AND NOW THAT PRIYA IS HERE (that's her name btw), AHEM AHEM HAS SHUDDUP LIKE FINALLY. well, at least quiet enough not to annoy me (: hehe okay okay i am mean and i should calm the freak down but yknow, i was just having one of those days.




There is a superhero in every one of us.
Superheroes learn to fly.
Every day every hour, turn the pain into power.

I was just thinking the other day, how it's so hard to let it go.
Now, the question is why?
It was never this hard, and it was really nothing, maybe even non-existent if you will call it.
But somehow, the small things that are around me can always trigger a reaction.
Be it words, quotes, food, habits..
But it was really nothing, just like air, you feel nothing, you see nothing, but you know it's just there to keep you alive.

Just like air.

When will it ever be easy. When will i be confident to surpress this, to look past all this. When will I not look back and think about this. When will i grow up.
Tell me why? Ain't nothing like a heartache, ain't nothing but a mistake.

anyeong~

Shake it off.

I'm at this point of the year where i don't know what to feel. Like seriously its neither happy nor sad and slightly bothering. And the late nights aren't helpful at all either.
I lay there unable to sleep, tired, but wide awake.



I pick out the small things, some of which brings joy, while other irritation.

The unexpected is just round the corner.
Sometimes you fear things, but taking a leap of faith, a step out of your comfort zone..

This coming month, i pray for patience, for understanding, for peace of mind.

anyeong!

Your Existence.

I literally spent the last 3 days walking around like dora the explorer. My legs, at this current moment, feel like they're gonna fall off.
But, i've never been so YOLO. So on Saturday we met up with Nat (super cool pilot, yes at age 20 and she's a pilot..and what have i achieved..more fats) and went round city with her friend.
We went to Eveleigh Market, WHERE I SAW KYLIE KWONG- MASTERCHEF. i swear i wanted to take a pic with her but A. she was busy and B. she did not look happy.
Nat headed off for Melbourne that night, leaving us with her MyMulti Bus3 ticket aka FREE RIDE TO NEARLY EVERYWHERE AND ANYWHERE IN SYDNEY.

HENCE, OUR ADVENTURE BEGINS.
we went on ferry after ferry, under the bridge, through the bridge, tram ride, bus ride, train ride..you name em', we got on them to fully maximize all in one week!
Although it has been about 9h since i got aboard the ferry, i still feel like i'm on it. Rocking forward, backward, forward, backward.
Next week, we're off again for some tour group adventure..EGGCITED..
yeah, i may not have gone back to SG, but hey i wouldn't have gone to these fun places.
Everything happen's for a reason...and there's always two sides to a coin.

MUMMY IS COMING YAAAAYYY..AND OUR FAMILY WILL BE REUNITED AGAIN (:
i really like it when the whole family is together.. yeah, shouting and nagging may start..but that's what happens in families; it is bound to happen. It is only when the noise stops, then you start to worry.

anyeong!

 

i forget you, then you just reappear, and my walls built all come crashing down; every single damn time. who are you, and what are you doing with my head.

Emotional Turmoil;

starting this post with a happy note,
EXAMS ARE OVER BABY!! okay lah, not that official, but yknow, who studies for English right? Somehow i think that despite how much i say this, i'm gonna regret it HAHAHA.
but really, i highly doubt i'm gonna study for it. like for the past week i have been staying up till 130 and waking up early to go to school at 9 just to study. it ain't a pretty cycle. it's a tiring one. do you know how exhausting it gets at time?

BUT YES, FINALLY,
all the major subjects are over!! i'm most happy with economics and legal paper really. Math was so-so. Like the questions i knew i didn't know how to do, i really didn't know how to do HAHA. so even when i had 15min extra time, all i could do is stare at those questions, but thankfully i spotted a question i absolutely left out lol!
accounting was the worst out of the lot. I'll be surprise if i get above a C. Hopefully i get at least a B!?!?!?! Ironically i was most confident in accounting but lol..guess we can conclude that we cannot count our eggs before the chickens are hatched..

Today i had a very long talk with mummy over the phone..1h 30min HAHA. Exceeded the usual 30min.
Basically, i just want all of you people out there to think about things that really matter, things that are physically there, things that you already have in your grasp, and don't ever take them for granted. Some days they may be there, and others they will not be. You just don't know when that day will come. Hence, i don't know, i just think a lot, and i hate it when people talk about death too early, when it is clearly not their time, when it makes me think that one day anything can go wrong and in a blink of an eye, they're not there anymore.
I try to get this message to my sis. I need to get this message to her, and the rest of you, the world.

Why do people care about the superficial, the non-existent popularity, the fake image they paint themselves when it is not truly what they care about and what they are all about.
Because society simply forces us to conform to what they demand for, not what we are comfortable with.
I believe there are always two sides to a story; as there are always two sides to a coin.

The world is spinning, time is passing. Stop for a moment to look at what you have, to look at how lucky you are, to see that life has given you the opportunity to do something. Treasure it.




ALSO,
HAHAHA I'M FINALLY NOT POSTING AT THE END OF THE MONTH. Cos well, i have time now.
I've got a new roommate! sort of -ish. She is only staying for about 10days because her homestay is not ready yet. But she's really nice! Once she leaves, hopefully there won't be anyone..Cos it's very hard to find someone as nice as her :/ She chose her English name CiCi (Sissy)..so i told her what it sounded like and what the locals here may misinterpret it as haha! Yes, the PRCs here literally choose their own name, and apparently they choose their birth date as well. Majority of their birthdays are not their real ones. Trust me. HAHA. More than you can imagine..weird huh..what parents would do to post their daughter a year early or later..

stay safe!
winter is freezing now..in the midst of it..
anyeong!

PS. now that exams are over, I AM GONNA FINALLY CONTINUE TO LEARN TO WRITE KOREAN YAAAY HAHAHA.

take a breath, and look in the mirror, do you like you?

Don't Rain on My Parade;

During the month, i actually have a billion and one music (lol jk, some months i can't find new music) to post, and it's just so hard to pick one. Yeah yeah sometimes i post 2..but ANYWAY, cos this song was stuck in my head for a few days past few weeks so YES IT MADE A BIGGER IMPACT THAN PARADE RAIN- HEDLEY > still a good song though *.*

anyway exams start in like..7 days, and gawd am i not ready. well i am sort of but yknow..UGH UGH UGH I KENNUT.
like econs, can go and die..accounting is logical but damn you definitions, and legal..LIKE YOU CAN GO AND ASDHGFJKKLAKJHKDHA
i hate exam period. but who does right?
The good thing is that half the school is empty cos they've all finished their exams, so law library is empty <: p="">
and did i mention i found 50 bucks? I think it was during this month? haha but somehow dollar coins can be found here and there too..
ALSO I GOT NEW BOOTS YAY. But they hurt like hell. yes they do. Beauty comes with a price people. Then again, Kat says the leather has to soften up, so have to bear with it for awhile..haiz...

One month has gone past yet again..how fast time is flying..3 months down, 5 to go~

AND AND I HAVE LEARNT HOW TO WRITE KOREAN LIKE YAY ME. ok not all, but roughly some. i'll get to it after exams..(1 week of torture.. I CAN DO THIS SHIT.)

anyeong!
there was nothing there to begin with.

On my way;

Might not be on top of the world, but i'm on my way.

AH FINALLY AT THE END OF THE MONTH TO BLOG.
I've always been pushing back to update this blog, ugh how lazy i am..

So this month has gone by quite quickly..some friendships mended, some friendships "broken". It was quite a emotional turmoil for some, but hey, if it doesn't involve you, get your nose out of it and you'll be safe <: p="">
Yes, June holidays has started for some people but i'm just like meh...i dont even have holidays until like.. next month and that's only for a week!
I am like super worried for Econs LOL. Cos seriously, who am i kidding, econs sucks. I'm getting pretty good at accounting though hehe

So to this new month,
1. i hope to conquer Econs
2. Frienships made, bonds maintained
3. STOP EATING SO MUCH CARBO OMGAH I WEIGHED MYSELF TODAY AND LIKE OMGAH.
4. Find time to appreciate things around me and stop rushing off to here and there..
5. to smile more
6. SLEEP EARLIER OMGAH, LATEST 1 CAN!?!?!
7. learn more korean so i can converse with Mel in a secret language HAHA
8. learn malay from mel and audrey (:

Happy June everyone (:

 

 anyeong

Riding Solo.

LAST DAY OF APRIL IS FINALLY HERE.
which means:
1. i have been procrastinating on this blogpost forever

2. i've been down under for about a month now...

I'm missing SG like mad i'm telling you. Char Kway Teow, Hokkien Mee, Chai Tao Kueh..

and my friends.. and most of all seeing singaporeans around me..

Here is literally stepping onto the homeland of china LOL. NO KIDDING.

My class is like 98% Chinese national while cal and I are the only non china persons there.

Yeah, some are nice. Some are just pure unfriendly or maybe their EQ naturally sucks.

There's not one genuine friend here. Like aside from my roommate Caroline and some lecture mates like andy(TH), angelia(ID), jack audrey melanie(MY), elise(HK). All great fun, but you see, they all have their own cliques..yes we may be close friends but not those close close kind of friends you'll go shopping with etc yknow? Don't even get me started with the Singaporeans...

I feel like i'm drowning each day. And i'm just afraid this optimism and enthusiasm will die out soon enough. I may laugh in class, but its just those short laughter at a joke ish..

I miss laughing so freely, so lively, falling of my chair in the midst...

So thank gawd i'm somewhat of an introvert where i like my room, my tv, and my desk.

Leave me alone in a library i can survive. Leave me alone during lunch break, i'll survive. Leave me alone at the easter fair, i'll survive. What i realised is i've been spending so much solo time on my own venturing whatever i'm kinda comfortable with it. But sometimes, it gets lonely. Just sometimes.

My phone is my next best friend too; music and apps really can keep you going. 

Kat says that most of her close friends and even best friends are from church. Now if you know me, i'm not all that of a religious person that i thought i was, and neither am i all christian-y with the whole jesus thing. Hence, no matter how badly i want to make friends, using church as a social platform is just way wrong..

I'm just seriously at loss now.

Sometimes, i feel like i could just break down and cry.

STUDIES...
Ain't going that great either..sure our english may be good..but hell am i struggling with economics and accounting..

Finding time to study is another thing as well. Oh lord please save me..

One month down, 7 to go.

Also, I'm actually considering picking up swimming again...
Nationals just passed, and seeing all the pictures and victories..THE FEELS MAN.


anyeong~

Never imagined;

HEYO FROM DOWN UNDER.
DAY ONE.
So we checked into unilodge..and like..LOL. FREAKING PIG STY CAN DIE.
like pls la at least wash the dishes can ):
but i shall talk in my ultimate innocent cute voice tmr HAHAHA. AND WE SHALL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
Im super duper greatful for the wifi..like YAY.
and currently idk why i've been pretty hungry these few hours i've been here.
oh and btw, i forgot to bring my retainers..LOL. so hopefully Callista gets them on time to bring over before she flies!!

it was so sweet of everyone to have came down to send me off <3 like="" naaawwww="" nbsp="" p="">and like many many pics to remember everyone by <3 back="" believe="" can="" dec="" im="" in="" man="" only="" p="" still="" t="" though..like..dec="">
ANYEONG~
SARANGHAEYO!
what does it mean? was it deliberate? But you know, i wouldn't, couldn't, shouldn't care less.




you say goodmorning when it's midnight~
THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN VANS AND I IS CRAY CRAY. SO THE 3FRUITYPERVS WILL FIND IT SIMILAR TO CLIMBING MT EVEREST TO OVVO =/

already broken, already gone.

just 5 more days, and i'm off to the land down under...
feeling rather sad but happy at the same time because this last week it has been awesome catching up with my closest friends.

MG FUNFAIR
i had like 300 bucks to spend and the food ran out by like 1pm..so..UGH?! BUT ANYWAY
I managed to qing some people at haunted house and food and got something for mummy and auntie steph too..
met lots of new people too haha it was great basically.

THE PAST WEEK
Has been really cray cray. on mon went back to school to crash march camp, then tue went cycling at ecp and chilled at james house then off for dinner with nik, then today went to meet up with ms tay!! then dinner with jamesy and drey and dharani who we met at the mrt?! then with nishan for a short dessert. tomorrow..is a blank day but i have to pack..and fri im off to acsi..and sat is FAREWELL PARTAY!!
AH IT WAS/going to be JUST AWESOME AND I WILL MISS ALL THESE PEOPLE.

wait can i just share this awesome fact that I HAVE WON A BID OF 5 CLUBS 2 DAYS IN A ROW WITH THE SAME PARTNER AS WELL. (ratio 11:3) so nothing is impossible guys (:

ON THE SIDE LINES...
So dharani asked me like 1000 times if i was ready. I really don't know. Am I? Am I really ready to let go of all these and step out of my comfort zone?

anyeong!
you were a douche. why did i take so long to realise it.

another star?

Do you believe in the existence of aliens?
Heh, i don't exactly support the term fully, but recently it has come across my mind that in fact i do believe in the existence of other life on another planet. It may not be in this Milky Way galaxy we live in..but hey in this universe there are like a gazillion more galaxies. Who knows. Have i talked about this before? I think i have. HAHA ONE OF MY DEEP MOMENTS AGAIN.

LOL ALRIGHT I SOUND LIKE A PYSCHO NOW, but HEY HEY BORED PERSON HERE...

So now i'm watching this drama called "My love from another star". It basically talks about this guy from another star who has landed on earth, or rather crashed into earth, where its comet only comes by every 400 years. It kinda got me thinking that perhaps the theory behind his non-ageing appearance is simply because since he is from another planet, would the size, atmosphere and orbit around its own sun be all different from Earth's data?
Hence since it has already been proven that when you are in space, if it takes about 3 space months to travel to Planet A, in Earth time, it could just be 3 weeks? (Ah, basically in space, time goes faster)
And with all the different orbiting patterns in this universe, it could be smaller than the orbit Earth is travelling, hence making people age faster? (same vice versa)

Whenever i look up in the sky, you see all these lights. Depending on your location and city, (if i'm not wrong the busier and brighter your country/city is, it is harder to see the stars shining) you just wonder who else is out there. I've always wondered if there is exactly some other person or whatever their existence they call themselves on their planet, sitting at their window, looking into the sky and wondering about other planets like how i am doing about them. If we exist, why can't other beings or forms exist too?

But then i come to realise that in this busy crazy hectic society, it is rare anyone pause to stop and think about this possibility because since those "out-there-things" are not bothering them, they worry about things going on in their lives like taxes to pay, children to feed, meetings to attend...
Now that i have the time, i guess i'm having this freedom to explore my imagination further..

Then there is this thing called parallel universe as well.
James explained to me sometime ago..
Something about if currently i choose to go left, in another universe my other self chooses to go right. Basically these universe exist to support both possibilities of happening.
Even though I don't exactly believe in this for now, i guess i can continue brewing some theory in my head..

But life is not that simple. We don't get the luxury to discover things like that. The fight to continue to survive is what people worry. Is it like that as well on other planets?
This may also be what The Chrysalids and The Giver basically talk about. People call them "deviations" or "aliens"...I haven't thought of a word to name them, but in their own home, they could just be normal like any other of their own kind.
Why do people shun them? Cos they're different, they stand out. In this society, once you are not "normal", prejudice and discrimination occur...
Mental or physical abuse may occur, and they attack back.
HENCE, calling them aliens and monster and dangerous?
Its protective instinct bitches. Get over it.

Haiz, the possibilities of this world, this galaxy, this universe.
I know i won't discover it all in this one lifetime, but whatever my next life time would be, man would i want the luxury to discover all these.



ANYWAY GETTING BACK TO MY LIFE,
MY BIRTHDAY
was awesome. At first i thought it was going to be a simple lunch with mummy and stuff. Wasn't even expecting a cake! But hey, guess my bestie and my mummy are very efficient people who got the surprise together in two days! HAHA THANKS MUMMY AND DREY <3 muacks="" p="" xoxo="">Last bdae celebrating in SG till 6 years later when i graduate ):
BUT YAY THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH <3 p="">LOVE THE PRESENTS TOO HEHE
BESTIE RING!!
AND BANDUNG ICECREAM?! HOW COOL AND THOUGHTFUL OF CELENE AND DREY
LOTS OF COLOURFUL NOTEPAD PAPER FROM ANNABELLE AND LAURA
AND KITTYKAT'S SURPRISE PRESENT THAT WAS HIDDEN IN HER CUPBOARD FOR 4DAYS HAHAHA XOXO

anyeong!
blessed.

Building Bridges;

The month is nearing the end! And so have my journey at Ichiban Centrepoint. HAHA.
So as i've wished, i've really made unbreakable friendships there, and learned many new things, and had an experience that enabled me to open my eyes to the real corporate world.

I realised you really must know how to go with the flow and get your lingo right in order to fit into working environments respectively. For once i thank gawd for Chinese. 99.99% of the staff there were either Chinese-Malaysians or PRCs. Except for both my managers who are Fillipino haha.

WAITRESSING
Chris,
Lalika (which i sadly didn't get her contact number),
Ben
 and of course my co-worker from the same agency- pinghong.

CHEFS
Wenhong- who is a lady in contrast to the wenhong i know from swimming haha),
anthony,
ming,
xiong,
xiang (sean)

MANAGERS
darren, erlyn, charlene

All these cool people has made my working days bearable. Some days piss me off maybe, but hey, we're humans and we ain't perfect!
Also, i realised i should really kick my stuttering problem. Its really gonna kill me when i go into the working world. Especially if i wanna try to be a lawyer right? haiz..

And recently, my sis has been telling me to get out of the house, and that friendship is very important.
Well, of course i know that, but yknow all my school people all with JC now and who knows going cray cray with boys..and im like bleh. And recently i realised the ones i hang out with are my Swimming people, my cousins..and even Rishi, who i've not seen since..what, NS? Which he still is in but i still talk to him man! and like all these people are the ones that don't hang out with me most of the time when i was in school. Like do you get it? Like..These are the relationships that are actually lasting, still strong..which makes me sad, cos..like..why aren't my school friendships going strong? I mean yeah Nik, Lynn, Jaja and Tham are these few people that still stick by..but ironically none of them has been in my class for the past 3 years. See again- the closest ones to me..are just so far away.
So this time, i hope to mend this. I hope to build bridges. Strong ones, made of bricks.

This one month left, i'd like to clear up all messes. Both literal and metaphorically. HAHA.

Take care, Anyeong! (:

Year of the Horse.

YAY TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF CNY! (Well technically the 2nd day cos now its already 1224).
So first off, wishing everyone a very happy chinese new year!
Red everywhere, angpaos floating in our vision...One thing that is a "tradition" on social media would be the #ootd for EACH AND EVERY FREAKING DAY OF CNY. Like seriously how do people have that many outfits.

I honestly like CNY. Its my third most favourite celebration. Christmas being the first and New year being the second>>fireworks baby.
Not only do you get money for being young (HAHA JKJK), you get to finally meet up with relatives and cousins you haven't seen in like forever. Over the past few years, i actually learn how to appreciate family more. Many may dread this occasion of visiting, but trust me, don't waste this precious moment, time and occasion. Anything can happen; anything just touch and go. So to these 15 days ahead, i hope everyone will pause a moment and not idle their time away posting OOTDs and who knows what else on FB and Instagram. Talk to your grandmas and -pas, your aunties and uncles, share stories you've never heard or known ever. It'll be a different experience. Make it a different year.

Enough of my deep moment, so today was "new everything you wear" day. Legit. Being the first day of CNY, we all have new clothes, new shoes etc. And this new dress i had was pretty tight. like HELLO I'M FAT I GET IT. And relatives..or specifically my dad just had to emphasize it to my relatives. How less embarrassing can life get?
Meeting up with the cousins today was the best thing ever. Love them to the end of earth.



And recently we also came back from..
BANKOK.
Shut down bankok, Restart Thailand.
So currently there's all these riots or rather a calmer term known as "demonstrations" going on.
As scary as the news portrayed it to be, it was actually quite safe. Just VERY loud with the whistles and loud speakers. It was an experience i must say. Didn't regret anything. Attending my first overseas wedding was quite..cool. Its like watching a Japanese movie with no subtitles. We just clapped when everyone clapped, laughed when everyone did. HAHA. Did we have much of a choice?

And did i mention that Thai food is AWESOME. Mango sticky rice. Best thing ever. And their complexion. like OMGAH SO NICE?! and the trannys there are sexier than some actual women. Ironic.

ENDING OFF..
This month has been rather hectic.
1. Got a job, still lovin' it. (love my manager)
2. Got asked out. ALSO from one of my colleagues at my job (creepy).

okok lets pause to talk about my job for awhile.
Its really an experience as well. I learn things from the working world POV.
People treat you differently, you see how the world act, you see so many things, people from all walks of life...
You learn to appreciate the small things from your parents harsh scoldings about mannerisms when you were young, the education we were given, the EQ that some of us may lack.

ANYWAY,
I shall be deep again when i finish my contract at the start of March HAHA. So as i was saying...

3. Got back O's results
4. Was in the middle of a protest/demonstration in a foreign country. (even though i've seen a srilanka protest in UK)
5. Had all these CNY mumbo jumbo.
6. Everyone going their different paths in their JC/Poly/Overseas schools..

and blah blah blah..
but most importantly i hope everyone is well and healthy!
stay happy!

"Holding a grudge against someone is useless. Its like letting someone live in your head rent-free"

anyeong!

D-day;

HEYO WORLD.

Okay so firstly i swear there is something wrong with blogspot's settings or functions or who knows what. I can't type in the compose tab, rather i'm typing in the HTML tab. Hence the post may have some weirdass font. So please bear with me.. I even had to open up Internet Explorer to get blogspot to open this up properly. Google..disappointment for tonight i must say..

HAHA ANYWAY,
YAY TODAY (Ps. I haven't slept, hence i'm still considering "today" as 13/1) WE GOT OUR RESULTS BACK. Last night i couldn't sleep. I'm not even kidding. Twisting and tossing and turning is not exactly the best feeling at 2 in the morning..
So there were laughters, cries and absolute no emotion from some. But for my case i guess i'm okay? not the infinity eight, but the wonderous ten. wait for it...A1 FOR GEOG BABY. You have no idea how happy i was when the overall stats showed that 100% Passes and our mean MSG was 1.8 or something. and also, thank gawd for not dropping phyics, because it was the science that saved me. haha. Bio and chem this time was rather..meh..
So wrapping up, i hope that all those out there are positive thinking. What is done is done. We have all done our best.

Also, drey and I went to watch the Adventures of Walter Mitty or somewhat. It was directed and produced by Ben Stiller. How cool is that. It wasn't that great of a movie, but a interesting and deep one. i would give it a...6.9/10 to try and go watch it. The graphics was FANTABULOUS THO..10/10

PHONE CALLS.
When great news come, you would wanna share it with you closest ones right? WELL MOST OF THEM WERE BUSY.. #foreveralone
But i must say i had a great catch up with dear ong and rishi (: and met up with james at Kap too! i thank gawd for wonderful friends.

take care
anyeong!

take the world by storm;

FIRST POST OF THE YEAR YAAAAAYY.
Okay, seriously i cannot believe i didn't post this year either one the 1st/2nd of Jan which i normally do every year.
 HOWEVER, this year we only got back from Sydney on the 2nd so.. YES WE SPENT NEW YEARS WATCHING THE WONDERFUL FIREWORKS OFF THE HARBOUR BRIDGE.

So let's wrap up 2013 yeah?
O LEVELS. haha alright just kidding. Of course there was the end to swimming, the start to new beginnings as well...Honestly, i don't recall much of 2013..
Only lots of laughing in class, panicking in our makeshift classrooms before our O'level papers..and that's kinda it.

2014, well i still can't believe its a new year. In my conversations i still say "this year" when i'm really referring to 2013. Also, 2014 barely started. We're just 6 days into the new year...
AND I'VE FOUND A JOB. YES EVERYONE, HOLD ONTO YOUR SEATS, THE PRINCESS HAS FOUND A JOB.
Like i'm not even kidding even one of my colleagues called me "da xiao jie" LIKE HELLO INSULT. But ok lah, i'm quite spoilt. i admit. HAHA. So i started today, and my contract ends in 2 months on 6th March. And if you're thinking i'm gonna tell you where i work..well. NO. COS. WELL COS NO. AND NO MEANS NO. Haha nah, i just feel bad if i serve any of y'all poorly. BUT ANYHOO, if you guys are in town, drop by!? no just text me. haha.

So this year, i hope for a gazillion one things. Hopefully practical things. Unlike Jamesy who wants to get a GF LOL HAHA.
1. Get good grades, hopefully meeting my expectations..INFINITY EIGHT BABY.
2. Survive my first real job and make new friends at my new job..
3. Not spill anything or piss any customer off even though on my First day i've already messed up an order...
4. Not piss of my parents anymore even though they themselves are annoying..but pray i have the patience to understand that...
5. Keep in touch with my school friends..as well as swimming friends..
6. Control my need for social media..
7. Learn how to cook and bake at least one dish. and instant food is NOT counted..
8. Survive Foundation year and pass it with a good mark (:
9. Make foundation friends..
10. Find my faith.

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year!!!
Hope you guys made wonderful new year resolutions as well and stick by it till the very end.

anyeong! (: